The young shall grow

Monday, May 15, 2017

It's a very American thing to move out before settling down isnt it?
Well I've been here long enough, and in true western fashion I too have since moved out of my mother's house
You know who else has moved? Omono Talks 
Yes O! I have since built/am in the process of building my own website-
Shout out to Bunmi for being the straw that broke my web domain's back
I'll soon start posting exclusively on that platform but will toggle with the interwebs to transfer all my subscribers over (see I can say all now :)
Speaking of, thank you to all my new followers, I appreciate you more than I can word and am excited to share with you-- and others to come--  what I have planned for Omono Talks

In the meantime, check out the new website! I'm pretty darn pleased with its progress so far. I mean, I have social media buttons guys! It took more than small effort to figure that one out so we can only move up from here

Happy Monday everybody

Now that's better

Friday, May 5, 2017

I booked my first national commercial!
Exciting stuff right?
Wendy's...Deliciously Different!

I formally prayed after I got the confirmation e-mail. Formally as in actually got on my knees and thanked God for the opportunity to do these kinds of things. Peter would have been proud
I'd been put on avail (i.e. part of the final round of potential actors) the night prior and had since been refreshing my e-mail anticipating an acceptance or rejection letter
I try not to do that, get hung up on jobs but I'm not perfect and I slip up sometimes
"Hold on tightly, let go lightly" --  better said than done Lupita
Either way, it worked out well for me this time so perhaps a firm grip ain't all that bad

Audition process
Sitting in a corridor with about 6 other black girls, all of us looking like the unfriendly black hotties Cady Heron fears

My first audition went well enough though, I didn't feel one way or the other about it and went about the rest of my day not hung up on it.
The hangers only came out when I got a call back.  Really? Cool, they must have liked my look  
2nd rounds went better. I was nervous they'd be over me because I had to push back my audition time, but I walked out of casting feeling like I'd booked the room if only that
You know when you leave a space and feel like you really made an impression on people? Like when when you go on a date and know the other person in that moment is really interested in you even if they never call you again? Or when you leave a party and know people will ask about you because you were just ever so charming?  Yea, that's how I felt.

Interestingly enough, as I walked to my car afterwards I was bunkered down in sadness. Not because of the audition, but because the person I usually call after all my auditions (especially the good ones) I can't call anymore. And in that moment I felt really alone- which is an over exaggeration of emotions yes, but let's be real we're all melodramatic in our sadness.

But melancholy be damned! And what better pill is there for it than opportunity.
So yesterday I filmed and the final cut should be streaming in about 4 weeks!
So catch me INside your television/computer/ipad/smart-phone screens. How bout that?

On being open

Monday, April 10, 2017

I am not open.
In fact, I'm a book so closed, my wrapping has yet to be removed
I value privacy but simultaneously long to share my thoughts
This results in me speaking in metaphorical tongues
Hiding the true messages of my heart in tres leches layered streams of consciousness

But then something changed. I learned recently that it's ok for people to read my unedited pages
The world will not end, the sun will still rise, traffic will still flow, I will still be loved
I've always thought of my life as a story. There are chapters in my story that I would love to erase or rewrite, but unfortunately they've already been published. It is these published stories I'm coming to terms with and learning to let others read. Thus far, I've only had one true reader. They have since finished these segments of my book and here I am: shamefully self conscious, frightfully insecure, emotionally cracked. But alas,  here I am.

My bachelors degree is in Psychology and sometimes I wonder if my emotional intelligence or self awareness is a result of those studies or if I possessed these skills innately. I came across old journal entries I wrote in high school (circa 14-16 years old) and they suggest self awareness, but in a restrained form. A form that buried feelings and attributed emotions to external factors without truly digging down to the how's of my feelings (i.e. How does that make you feel?). Perhaps I'll never know the source of these wonders because at the end of the day maybe it was college, or maybe it was age, or maybe a combination of both. Either way, I take great  pride in my ability to talk to and talk through myself.

 On being open, I've learned that just because one person reads the chapters of my story and doesn't take to it, doesn't mean I should remove myself from library shelves. If anything, the act of open-ness with a first reader should (and hopefully will) act as practice for me to continue to share such stories.

The moral of my story? It's ok to be open with people. The scars I'm so afraid of showing for fear that they appear as baggage, might just also double as a suitcase of tricks and experiences that maybe make my life story more interesting. Because at the end of the day, come on, who doesn't want an interesting story?

Go to sleep Omono

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

It's 6.15am and I haven't slept since last night.
Well that's not technically true since I'm keen for napping, so technically since yesterday early afternoon. ish.
I should be in bed, especially because I'm to be up in 3 hours to start getting ready for an audition I'm quite excited about. I've done plenty of research and prepped more than I have for recent try outs and I'm excited. Not necessarily to book it, because God knows all the things that are out of my control in that regard, but to get a chance to play someone. That's cool

I opened my computer screen to write about something. In the process of writing my intro however, I've completely forgotten the theme I was to decorate this post with. In the meantime, I'll talk about something else: Insecurities

Don't we all have them.
I have this painful addiction to fantasizing about my future. My future jobs, my future relationships, my future home, my future kids. And just when I think I have a rough draft sketch of what it might look like, I'm thwarted in the face by life and the people that play a role in my story. It sucks, but I'm trying to learn that although things may not necessarily happen for a reason (because let's face it I'm still a cynic at heart), the lessons that we learn from them are perhaps most valuable

Ah! I've remembered the topic of my lost decor. Reason vs Emotion. No this isn't philosophical, instead I'm here to talk about the tottery balance I manage between reason and emotion. I admit it, I'm an extremely emotional person. I cry fairly easily (believe it or not) but do a superb job of stifling it in public or flat out hiding it from almost anyone who isn't my cat. For example: I saw Beauty and the Beast with my roommates this past weekend and cried during the Beast's last solo number. I pretended I didn't because I was with people, but Jesus knows if I was in the comfort of my loft bed I would have unabashedly ugly cried as he pined for Belle. So back to me, yes extremely emotional and quite sensitive

At the same damn time, I am highly rational. Extremely understanding and impressively objective on my own subjective nature. This not only makes me rather forgiving of others but also very judgmental of myself when I act or accept acts that demoralize me. I won't be explicit here, but instead want to share with the internet abyss the struggles I face trying to balance rational Omono with emotional Omono. In the past I would have insulted her for these traits that cause internal tears (as in rips not salt water), but the older I get the more I realize the traits that make me, me, are not to be embarrassed of or put up for altering.

I guess this is just a now 6:30am speech about accepting all parts of ourselves, no matter how many qualms we're put through. Sometimes the things we vow to change about ourselves because they've been the path to misgivings, should not be shelved but rather celebrated because they make us good. If other people take this good and misshape it, we are not to blame but instead we must coddle and tend to these traits until we can celebrate them with those worthy

My if this isn't a rant. I should go to bed, but I think I'll write a poem next

Poet Now?

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Innumerable schedules. Or none at all. 
Feelings not hopeless, but not enveloped in joy.
Many things to be grateful for, many things to worry on 
Future me appears in comfort, here's to hoping not a con  
Change of direction, is where the map points. Where it’ll lead I’m still unsure. 
Make the best choices, that’s all you can do. And if it all blows up, well there’ll still be morning dew. 
Human emotions, so complex, so burdening, yet so plotless— 
In the grand scheme though, not to each of us. 
We all matter, or so we think
But when you die, truly the universe won't blink
Existential thoughts, still ring true
Who knows how this will end, need me a blues clue

Do something

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

I have done everything except everything I was supposed to do today
A wonderful fun filled day of absolute procrastination
And I should be worried, because it's 1am which means I won't be getting up till late tomorrow (technically this) morning
But here I am, tapping along lettered keys, pretending I have nothing to do. Life is good

So what've you been up to Omono?
I just got back from Park City, Utah where I attended Sundance for the first time. The last completed project I worked on Gook was accepted into the festival and I was fortunate to attend the premiere.
Believe it or not, this is the first time I was in snow. As in real snow, falling snow, not Big Bear man made lake snow. Very exciting stuff. I couldn't help but continously stick my feet in big smooth white powdered puffs. That is until the deviled powdered puffs turned on me and began seeping into my non snow boots (I live in southern CA, ok?)

Either way it was a nice little getaway, but I'm also glad to be back home.
I'm almost nervous to say I was inspired by the festival to write and hopefully bring back my own work as a contender. Nervous because I've tried publicly sharing goals as a motivational tactic only to find them powdered puff puddles in my brain. But alas, we shall see.

I was inspired nonetheless, and if this weekend simply encourages me to write more (for myself, in my journal, on this blog, in a script), well then I'll consider it a win

Cheers! And some snaps from the weekend

from the Women's March

Found this on the LA Times' Website so I'm feeling pretty snazzy

Where our film premiered. Peep that beautiful brown slush below

David mesmerized by me. Or judging me. Not sure

They built an ice sculpture Hollywood sign and blasted music in front of this spot. I danced


At premier(e)

On this day I learned that Banksy murals are framed because people cut them off the walls lol


Friday, November 18, 2016

I was browsing through my facebook one day when I had the overwhelming urge to deactivate it.
And then I deactivated it. And instagram too
A few people in real life asked me if everything is ok. I get it, but it's still interesting that removing oneself from social media is enough of a cue for concern. But I get it
I've had people ask if I was having family issues or going through a bad breakup. Neither.
I just didn't want to be on the major social media platforms anymore

I pride myself for being (for the most part) very self aware
And while I was browsing through facebook one day, I was hit with an overwhelming urge to deactivate it
It wasn't for no reason. It was because all of a sudden I was hit with how much I'd started comparing myself to people on my newsfeed.
That moment, followed by an F this! led me here.

I'm doing ok here. No family drama, no boyfriend drama, no meltdown drama. Just me.
So what have I been up to?
Alot of cuddle time with Philippa (my cat)
Entertaining going back to school, but that's another post for a different time
Been reading The Secret Garden - I know, 20+ years later
And filming a short that my friend Keenan Duke wrote. Check out our INDIEGOGO page, it's a really neat film and I'm super proud to be a part of it so donate if you can yea?!

I doubt my major social media sabbatical is permanent. I don't know how long I'll be gone for because I didn't really plan or set a ghost goal, but I'm still out here chugging along

Philippa says hi